James Van Der Beek is a proud father of five kids, with his latest child, Gwendolyn, born just before Father's Day in June. However, in a recent Instagram post, the Dawson's Creek star revealed that the road to having such a large family has been a bumpy one. He told his followers that over the years, he and Kimberly, his wife of eight years, have had three miscarriages, including one just before Gwendolyn was conceived.
In his post, he writes:
"First off - we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage,” in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start."
He goes on to describe how losing a baby feels, explaining:
"It will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced.
However, James also has advice for anyone who has had to deal with the pain of a miscarriage, saying:
"Don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned 😍)."
In the past few years, more celebrities have been open about their miscarriages and the emotions that follow. Just this week, Backstreet Boy Nick Carter revealed he and his wife just suffered one.
And in December, One Tree Hill's Jana Kramer posted about her struggles with miscarriages.
For more information about miscarriages and how to get through them emotionally, head here.
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